Do you think it’s good to reconnect with some old friends again?

A student wrote to me, asking:

Do you think it’s good to reconnect with some old friends again? Like someone whom you haven’t talked to for like 1-2 years? Do you think there’s still a point to make an effort to reach out? I always feel apologetic that I’ve grown distant with some of my old friends. We’re all so busy that we slowly forget about each other. I don’t know whether I should still try since they seem like they have already moved on.

I feel the same way too actually. To be fair, I think everyone feels the same way about friends they haven’t been in touch with for a while. So we’re all trapped in a deadlock of not contacting each other.

From my experience, it’s actually very fun to reconnect with people. In the past 1-2 years, I’ve had a lot of friends reconnect with me even though we have not spoken to each other in the past 7-8 years after graduation!

Facebook/Instagram actually helped a lot with reconnecting with people. It’s so fun to talk to them and just catch up on life and reminisce on the past. I recently had a gathering with a few of them. These were the first friends I made in uni. And it started when I decided one day to just turn to my left and right to say “hello,” to the people sitting next to me. We started hanging out for lunch and goofing around on and off campus, and we got to know their friends and all.

So it’s really nice to reconnect with them again. We hit it off as if we were never apart for so many years. It’s surreal when you think about it, but that’s the fun of life.

As for friends that you’ve grown distant because of school/work, I think it helps to drop a “hello” every now and then. If you feel shy, find an excuse. Like, “Oh I saw this thing on YouTube and thought of you.” It helps also to not be a stalker on social media. Just a simple “hello,” or a comment on their posts is a way to keep in touch.

If they are your good friends from before, they’ll really appreciate it, and when the time is right (like when they’re not fighting fire because of the hustle and bustle of daily life), they’ll find the time to hang out with you.

It’s important to remember that if you feel something about other people, they probably feel the same. We’re all just waiting for each other to say hi.

So take the initiative. You’ll slowly discover that some of these friendships will last very far and long throughout your lifetime. :)

Author: Jonathan Y. H. Sim

Jonathan Sim is an Instructor with the Department of Philosophy at the National University of Singapore. He is passionate about teaching and he continues to research fun and innovative ways of engaging students to learn effectively. He has been teaching general education modules to a diverse range of undergraduate students and adult learners at the University.

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