Do you think a couple that broke up once can come back together to make things work again?

A student asked:

Do you think a couple that broke up once can come back together to make things work again?

I’m not an expert in this, so I won’t say much about it.

The funny thing about relationships is that we only consider the relationship a success when the relationship ends with at least one party passing away.

If a couple is together for very long, we say we are inspired by them but we know that shit can happen any time to rock the relationship. What I can tell you is that I know one or two old couples who have gone through a break up, and later reunited for years already. Is this successful? I leave you to decide.

While it is not impossible to make the relationship work again, there are many challenges due to past hurts. But I think one problem that can arise is if either party (or both) expect it to be a return to the good ol’ days. Those belong to the past and cannot be recovered. Like a piece of wood that had a nail jammed into it and later removed, the wood will have a hole. That is the indelible mark done to the relationship. You can mend it, but it won’t be the same once again. You both have to accept this as the new normal of the relationship. Expectations of returning 100% to the good ol’ days can potentially hurt the relationship.

What’s essential is open and honest communication, and the willing effort of both sides to want to make it work. Just be careful not to sacrifice so much of yourselves for each other that you end up becoming someone that you’re not – an empty shell of who you once were. Just as much as we want to spend time with each other, we need to give ourselves time and space to be ourselves.

Author: Jonathan Y. H. Sim

Jonathan Sim is an Instructor with the Department of Philosophy at the National University of Singapore. He is passionate about teaching and he continues to research fun and innovative ways of engaging students to learn effectively. He has been teaching general education modules to a diverse range of undergraduate students and adult learners at the University.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.